🌳 Your Feelings Are Not Facts (Gasp)

🔄 The Quick Rewind

Last week we tackled the Stoic superpower of focusing on what you can control. Today, we're diving into why you're probably blaming the wrong thing for your bad moods (and what to do about it).

💡 Stoic Lesson of The Week

Picture this: Your friend ghosts on your lunch plans. Your brain immediately spins up stories: "They hate me." "I must've done something wrong." "Nobody respects my time."

Here's the Stoic plot twist: The event (friend not showing up) didn't cause your emotional tailspin. Your interpretation did.

"People are not disturbed by things, but by their judgments about things." - Epictetus

This isn't just ancient wisdom – it's the foundation of modern cognitive therapy. The Stoics figured out 2,000 years ago what psychologists now charge $200/hour to explain: There's a gap between what happens and how we react to it. And in that gap lies our freedom.

Think of it like this: Events are just raw footage. Your mind is the editor that adds the dramatic soundtrack and decides if it's a tragedy or comedy. The good news? You're the director.

🎯 How to Actually Use This

• When emotions spike: Use the "Is that true?" test. Your brain says "Everyone hates me." Ask: "Is that true? Can I absolutely know that's true?"

• Create a three-column journal: Column 1: What happened (just facts) Column 2: The story you're telling yourself Column 3: Alternative interpretations

• Try the 10-10-10 rule: Will this matter in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years?

Try This Now: Think of something that's bugging you. Write down JUST the facts - no interpretations. Notice how much smaller the actual event is compared to your story about it.

📖 Story Time

Marcus Aurelius (the Roman emperor aka the old guy from Gladiator) had a fascinating habit. Every morning, he'd write about how annoying people were going to be that day: "Today you will meet braggarts, ingrates, and the selfish."

But here's the kicker – he wasn't being a grumpy emperor. He was reminding himself that other people's behavior was just... behavior. Not a personal attack. Not a cosmic injustice. Just humans being human.

When his most trusted general betrayed him (think top employee stealing your clients), instead of rage, he wrote: "Does this surprise you? Did you expect betrayal to vanish from the world just because you trusted someone?"

Talk about emotional intelligence goals.

🤔 Takeaway

Your feelings are real, but they're not always reality. The power isn't in changing what happens to you – it's in mastering the story you tell about what happens.

Your Weekend Challenge: For 24 hours, add "I'm telling myself a story that..." before every negative thought. Watch how it changes your perspective.

Question to ponder: What stories are you telling yourself that make your life harder than it needs to be?

Next week: Why thinking about death is actually the secret to living better (trust me on this one).

🔗 Interesting Reads & Listens

Some of my favorite content I found on the internet this week…

• The True Story of History’s Greatest Philosopher (Modern Wisdom podcast)

• Recently, I’ve been starting my mornings with one letter from Letters From A Stoic by Seneca. It’s been a refreshing morning ritual before getting bombarded with Slack and email notifications. Start with Lesson 1: On Saving Time